A BIG THANK YOU to the 102 people who went to the trouble to complete and return the survey form from the 1996 National Flute Association Convention, copied it from the Sept./Oct. issue of Flute Network, and/or downloaded and returned it from the FluteNet web site! We've been working to compile your responses, and we've gotten enough of a start on it now to begin to share it with you here. We're going to have to do this in stages because we don't want to slight the wonderfully creative answers to the survey questions, so this is only the First Installment. Watch for more in later issues (and of course, we'll also be posting them here at FluteNet as each installment is released).
This particular batch of responses is drawn only from those who identified themselves on the survey form as P.W.L.F.P.'s. As you read them, please give these folks credit for probably knowing the real, right answers -- we did get a lot of them! Still, it was part of the plan to let people run with their imaginations - and some of the genuine misunderstandings almost make sense!
QUESTION 2: As YOU understand them, please define the following:
a. Headjoint:
- a prop from a Cheech and Chong movie
- the place where you hang your hat on
- where the blow goes
- something to smoke to make you feel good
- this question is too rude to answer
- a mind altering object many enjoyed in the '60's
- a coffee shop in Greenwich Village
- a library
- piece where the mouthpiece and breath come together
- the source of many serious money discussions in our family
- body-less whistle
- some people have several of these in their underwear drawer
- a piece of metal-thing that gets blamed for all the flubs
- where the head joints to one's neck
- a part of the flute that I never thought of buying an extra of until I met my wife
b. Embouchure:
- French for snails
- don't know, sounds Minnesotan
- very light reading
- the food of the gods
- a printed promotional piece
- what you make before kissing
- someone who is sure of his embouche--
- the cheeky pucker bit
- what a French waiter calls you after you've eaten too much
- that part of the anatomy used for kissing a flute player
- French style of preparing veal
- an advertising leaflet about transcendental meditation
- a small handbag
- the way you purse your lips and blow
- a difficult word to pronounce, impossible to spell; and without flutists -- for which there probably would be no need...
- a wierd face flutists make to play (especially the high notes)
- a hole in the head that precipitates double tonguing
- a large envelope
- has something to do with lips... I'm not sure what
- the only part of your body that changes names when you become a flutist
- Oh... God bless you!
c. Double Tonguing:
- would reduce the number of licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop by one-half
- the art of being a politician
- mouth to mouth resusitation
- ancient French love technique
- CENSORED (editors note: they said this, we didn't...)
- best way to lick an ice cream cone
- using front and rear of tongue in alternating fashion
- ecstasy
- getting two for one on a tongue stroke
- something horn players do better than flutists
- yet something else Senator Helms wants to outlaw
- a fast talking flute sales person
- wouldn't know, I only have one
- You mean all flute players do that? I thought it was just my girlfriend!
- a flute player who nags too much
- this is what happens when you try to get an answer out of a flute player when they're practicing
- a really good workout
- playing something twice as fast so you can get it out better
d. Cadenza:
- what you get a flu shot for
- a small dresser in the front hall where my wife's students old gloves and scarves go to die
- a piece of office furniture, usually long and low
- the room where you watch foooootballza and take a ca-Snooza
- shelves where you display your fine china
- a solo in a concerto
- I know but I'd rather not say!
- part of a piece where you go crazy with sound
- Italian "dessert" to show off the soloist
- a show-offy thing that instrumentalists do at the end of a piece
- something to do with indigestion
- a fancy name for a bookshelf
- the part at the end of the tune where you get all your "licks" in
- solo where player gets to show off; accompaniment gets bored; audiences may also get bored
- a couch
- that spontaneous playing that sounds great at midnight when you're alone by yourself but that you can never duplicate in front of anyone
- a free solo
- impromptu mistakes
- having a lot of fun in the middle of a concerto
- 21.5 played on a baroque instrument without altering the title?
- where the other guys stop and you keep blowing
e. Beta Blocker:
- the one who stands behind the Alpha blocker
- a full back on a second string football team
- lost out to VHS
- a football player who blocks "beta" than the others
- a vitamin?
- a veteran New York taxi driver
- what my Dad is going to need after he sees the price of a professional quality flute
- reason for not studying Greek
- the next generation of phaser gun
- sun tan lotion
- the guy that steals your pre-release version of software
If you find yourself getting inspired, or want to get a friend involved -- the original survey and all accompanying explanations is still posted here at FluteNet Click here to go to the original P.W.L.F.P. Survey All ideas and insights are always welcome!
